Maxine -vs- Martha

We all know the lovable and all too true, Maxine. Well now we'll hear her answers to some of Martha Stewart's Tips. This was just too cute, I had to share it!

Martha: "Stuff miniature marshmellows at the bottom of an
ice cream cone to keep it from dripping."

Maxine: "Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake!

You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

Martha:"To keep potatoes from budding,

place an apple in the bag with the potatoes."

Maxine: "Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix.

Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha: "When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan,

use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any

white mess on the outside of the cake."

Maxine: "Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Martha: "If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking,

drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an

instant 'fix-me-up.'"

Maxine: "If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad.

Please recite with me the real woman's motto:

'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'"

Martha: "Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the

refrigerator and it will keep for weeks."

Maxine: "Celery? Never heard of it!"

Martha: "Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before

baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish."

Maxine: "The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do

not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't."

Martha: "Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and

rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away."

Maxine: "Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

All your pains go away!"

Martha: "If you have a problem opening jars, try using

latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip

grip that makes opening jars easy.."

Maxine: "Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you."

Martha: "Don't throw out all that leftover wine.

Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces."

Maxine: "Leftover wine??????????? HELLO!!!!!!!"