Still unknown

Ok, so I still haven't gotten that positive UPT and I am going to TRY not to take another for a couple weeks. I did, however, check my urine for any sign of infection or abnormality that would be a cause for any of my symptoms - nothing. Everything looks normal, no infection or proteinuria or abnormal glucose, nothing. I also checked my hemoglobin just in case anemia was to blame for the dizziness, nausea and tiredness. Nope. 12.8 is an excellent reading. So, let's look at the symptoms again...

1- tender breasts
2- slightly bloated
3- lower back pain
4- dizziness / faintess
5- tiredness
6- irritibility / moodiness
7- mild headaches
8- nausea - especially with certain smells
9- known foods don't always smell or taste right
10- increased appetite

Ok, so what are some of the causes?
We've already excluded anemia, but even anemia wouldn't explain #s 1,2,3,6,9 and only partially would explain #10.
Kidney/Bladder infection would explain some of the symptoms as well, but not all and we've learned that isn't the case anyhow.
PMS - This could absolutely explain most of this, if I didn't start feeling this way *before* I should ovulate and it doesn't explain the adversion to smells and foods.

Oh I simply do not know!! If I am NOT pregnant, then I need either a good Psychologist or Dr. House!

Well, we'll see. Until then, I will continue to watch medications, not smoke, not drink and try to eat better and rest when needed. If I am wrong, I am wrong, but at least I'll be doing the right thing if I'm right.

Hi-ho Hi-ho, it's back to work I go!

Life is an adventure!

Ok, well, I have no more news to report in the pregnancy dept. Still no positive upt, but I'm still pretty darn sure. Of course, I have moments of doubt, but I try to push those aside because negative thinking will not get me anywhere but depressed! There are just way too many coincidences!

In other news... my baby boy ( Tristian ) got 8 stitches last night! Just as I was finishing things up here at the lab, I recieved a phone call from Zach ( my eldest son ) saying that they were messing with Bo ( our Jack Russel-mix ) and Tristian did something and Bo bit him in the face and Tristian was bleeding bad. Needless to say, I was pretty darn quick with making the needed calls, and getting the heck outta dodge.

I stayed nice and calm on the way home, though I did do quite a bit of speeding. The timing could'nt have been better. Aylanna ( my daughter ) was on her way home from school. ( She goes to public school, Zach is homeschooled and Tristian goes to school in Orlando and is out for Thanksgiving ) I stopped long enough to pick Aylanna up when I saw her walking and continued on home. I was really thinking that Zach was probably over-reacting and that I would just be able to clean up the bite and bandage it up. Then Zach called again asking where I was ( I was mere moments away ) and said they had thier shoes on ready to go. Ready to go?? Was it that bad?? I pulled into the driveway to see them moving to thetruck quickly.

I jumped out of thetruck, still trying to stay calm so that I don't alarm Tristian even more, and told him to remove the washcloth that he held over his nose and eyes. WOW! He had two puncture marks on either side of his nose between his eyes. Just another 1/2 or maybe even 1/4 inch to either side and those teeth would've been in his eyes! The wounds were quite deep and it was obvious within about 1 second that I was not going to be treating him myself.

I think the only way that I stayed calm during that drive to the hospital was because of how Tristian was reacting and the fact that the bleeding had pretty much stopped. I just couldn't believe how GREAT Tristian was. I am so proud of him, and Zach! Zach knew just what to do by applying pressure. He stayed nice and calm which helped Tristian to stay calm too. He put Tristian's shoes on him and made the phone calls. I am so VERY proud of him.

So, we ended up with 4 stitches closing up each puncture, plus inside stitches she used as well. He was, again, awesome. He was so good about it all, the Dr. was even able to let her nurse go on to help someone else while she sewed him up. She said that she had done 3 other sets of stitches that day, all on adults, and none of them behaved as well as my baby boy.

Then it was another sleepless night for me - and unfortunatley, my husband. I think I just may attempt to sleep on the couch tonight. It reclines and doesn't hurt my back as bad, we'll see. Even if I don't sleep still, at least Mike will.

Oh and just so you know - it wasn't Bo's fault. He didn't mean to bite Tristian. After talking with the boys, I learned how they were playing with Bo relentlessly. Bo was trying to warn them, like he does when he gets tired of the game, but Tristian's face was right in Bo's when he turned around. They never took me seriously when I have told them countless times to keep thier faces out of Bo's. He's a sweet and loving dog, but he's still a dog and accidents still happen. They said as soon as it happened Bo ran to his kennel and then he was 'kissing up' to Tristian and me when we got home. Anyhow- That was our exciting night...

Could it be?

Let me start with a little history. When I had Tristian, I had a tubal ligation - meaning that the doctor made a loop in my fallopian tubes and left a slip knot to cut off the flow from the ovaries to the uterus. This proceedure has a 1.4 chance of failure unless it's been 10 years, then it goes up to a 1.8 chance. And I have personally known women who got pregnant after a TL, one which had a TL by the same Dr. who performed mine. Other info I figures I found was that 1 in 400 women concieved after TL unless the TL followed a cesarean , then the ratio was 1 in 300. This makes me happy and hopeful because my tubal was done along with my c-section and I am regretting it.

My husband has no children of his own and I really want to give him one. I have whats called a bi-corneal uterus, meaning that instead of the nice pear-shaped area, mine is almost cut in half and has two sides. Because of this, I highly doubt that a Dr. would actually want to do a reversal or IVF, plus we really can't afford to have either proceedure done.

Well, I have been praying that God would simply fix whatever needs to be fixed in there and make it so I can have a child. About 4 or 5 months ago, I was at church and I began to feel a sort of cold burning in my lower abdominal. I can't really express it any better. It was almost like a burning, but yet it was cold. About the same time as I felt this, my Pastor called out that someone with infertility issues was being healed and that they would feel a burning sensation. Tears immediatly filled my eyes. I knew it was for me. My mom quickly helped me out into the isle and up to the front, she knew it was mine too.

Since then, I have told God that the moment I found out I was pregnant, I would quit smoking. I've told God that the baby would be His and I would do my best to raise him/her as a child of God.

Nausea and dizziness started almost a week ago. My lower back also started hurting really bad and now I've also noticed bloating and breast sensitivity and soreness. A few days ago, when I reminded God that I would quit smoking with a positive UPT, He asked me - Then why not just quit now? So, I am on day 3 of not smoking. Whether I am pregnant now or not, it is a step of Faith. It's funny that Pastor just spoke on Faith. Yes, that messege was for me. Quitting smoking is a very big step of faith. Of course, I FEEL pregnant. I really REALLY hope that I am. I am also emotional, and I hate to admit it, whiney. Now, I did have a period, but it was pretty light. It still lasted 4 days, but it wasn't very heavy. I also had one period with all 3 of my kids. The same sort of experience. I knew I was pregnant, but the test showed negative, had one period, took another test when I was late for the next one and it came out positive. Oh yeah... there's also the horrible, horrible heartburn. That was the first sign with all 3 of my other kids. Although now I do get heartburn more frequently than I used to, lately it's been REALLY frequent.

I think that when I see that positive UPT ( urine pregnancy test ) I will probably fall to the floor in tears. I will be so happy. Even now as I type this, I can barely see for the tears. I already bought a onesie LOL It says "Mommy and Daddy's Alarm Clock". That was another step of faith.

I will, of course, keep everyone updated. Thank you God for the miracle that you have in store for us.

A New Start

Ok, so here I am again, attempting to start and keep a personal blog. I have such a hard time with this because my life get's pretty full and hectic and most of the time, I just don't feel like getting on here and writing about it! Let's start with a little background.....

As my "about me" says, I am a mother of 3 wonderful kids and I have a very awesome husband. My oldest is now a teenager (13) and I just can't believe that I am the mother of a teenager. I really never thought about it, I guess, but now I'm in shock LOL. I also have a 12 year old daughter and a 10 year old son. I also can not believe that my baby is 10 years old. Today is his birthday too. My husband works for a well-drilling company and therefore works long hours and sometimes it seems as if the only time I really see him is when I wake up in the middle of the night and he's sound asleep next to me. I really do feel that he and I were meant to be together. We actually met years ago when we were both married to other people. No, we didn't have an affair or anything, relationships that start that way, usually end that way too. Our story was a little different. I worked for Radio Shack and he and his then-wife came in to buy a satellite system and I sold it to them. Then a few years later while I was working at my parents restaurant, he started working for my dad's tow company. We got along well, but that was it, we were both loyal to our spouses and did not even let the other know that we were attracted to them. After my ex and I split up, I went out one night - as was my usual routine on the weekends - and there he was standing at the bar. I went over to say hi and found out that he and his ex had split up too. We began to talk and hang out and then one day it hit me, I was in love. Oh I didn't admit it right away, I was too scared. But after about a month or so we finally decided that we weren't going to date anyone but eachother. A year later he asked me to marry him while we were standing at the top of Black Rock Mountain in Clayton, Ga and a year after that we were married. That was July 19, 2007.

Our relationship has definitely seen some hard times. We're human, we argue, we make-up and we'll argue again. The kids sometimes put a strain on us too, but I tell you, he's a really great step-dad. He has stood with me on some hard issues and I have had to let him take the lead on some that were too hard for me. I am truly very fortunate and blessed to have him as my husband and I have told him, he's stuck with me. LOL

It's very rare to find these days, but my husband doesn't have any kids of his own. This is something that we are really REALLY hoping for, but it's up to God. My tubes were tied 10 years ago today. Now I have known women who have gotten pregnant after a tubal ( and not in thier tubes ) so I just pray that God will bless us with a child. I can not get a reversal and I seriously doubt that any doctor would do an invetro fert. because my uterus is messed up and I have high-risk pregnancies. Actually, I wasn't supposed to really be able to have kids because of it. Obviously, my kids were meant to be! So, see, if God would make a way, where there was little way, and allow me to not just have one healthy baby, but 3 - Then I know that He can make a way now and allow another.

Let's see.... My real parents both died when I was young. I grew up with 'guardians' who I would not allow to adopt me because I really couldn't stand them. The girl next door and I became best friends and to this day I consider her my sister and her mom and dad, my mom and dad. I had lost touch with my real sisters from my dad's side after he died, but I found them and reunited with them in Jan 2007. It's so nice to have real family around now.

I'm sure there's so much more that I could tell you, but I'm going to stop for now. I'm sure if you come back by, you'll learn more as time goes by.